Double Down Day - KFC

200 Richmond St
Painesville, OH 44077
(440) 352-2000
www.kfc.com

Tweets and Reqall by Beau Cadiyo

Bite: KFC will kill the Double Down within three months, but the wax paper sleeve that holds the Double Down will be the most important advance in Sandwich Science™ this year.

#

Driving. Blue Chevy impala license plate BV48ZD is blocking my way at Richmond and Erie Streets. (via Reqall.com)

#

Just ordered the double down meal. Mashed potatoes. Made a suicide drink of dr pepper and mountain dew. 41 minutes ago via txt

#

Just got it. Cheese not melted. Looks glorious though. 34 minutes ago via txt

#

3 other people in this place. 2 teenagers and an overweight man. Nobody else ordered one. 38 minutes ago via txt

#

Overweight man is scratching a lottery ticket which makes him pant. Not joking. He's breathing so loudly that i'm getting worried. 32 minutes ago via txt

#

Cheese melted a bit. Only given one napkin. Man still panting as he eats his wings. 32 minutes ago via txt

#

First bite: salty. Moist. Salty. 32 minutes ago via txt

#

Second bite amazingly salty. Breading falling off of one piece of chicken from the grease. It's soaked through the wax paper. 32 minutes ago via txt

#

Bacon crisp. Man still panting. Putting some sort of sauce on his chicken. 31 minutes ago via txt

#

Bites 5-7 salty and moist. Bacon is dominant flavor otherwise. 31 minutes ago via txt

#

One downside to using chicken as bread is that the pieces are unevenly matched. One piece is far larger than the other so the filling fa ... 29 minutes ago via txt

lls out. 28 minutes ago via txt

#

Now finished with one piece entirely. Other piece looks like vomit, but saltier. The wax paper sleeve is very intelligently designed. 26 minutes ago via txt

#

Man still panting. He got up to get a napkin and is wheezing from the effort of walking. I wonder if he is a warning from god. 24 minutes ago via txt

#

The sun is shining. The grass is a violent green. God is great. America is beautiful. 14 minutes ago via txt

#

Finished. Stomach pushing out a bit but not horribly. I think my drink is helping digest the fat. 22 minutes ago via txt

#

Eating his meal caused this guy to sweat through 2 layers of clothing. He just refilled his soda and left. Grateful for my relative health. 13 minutes ago via txt

#

All alone now. I feel like i should be somewhat enlightened but instead there is emptiness in my soul (not in my stomach). 10 minutes ago via txt

#

Right shoulder inexplicably sore. I was eating with my left hand! 5 minutes ago via txt

#

Got closest parking space. Didn't have to walk far. Salt still on lips. Flat tire continues to increase push against waistband. Cliche. less than a minute ago via txt

###

A few more words:

1) The wax paper sleeve that my Double Down came in was very, very intelligently designed. It was sealed on two sides in a "V," allowing the consumer to eat the Double Down from various angles. While the grease soaked through mine, my hands were not nearly as greasy as they might have been without the sleeve. I predict that this sandwich will be off of the menu within three months, but the sleeve will be used in more and more sandwiches. The only thing that might make it better is if the paper was edible. Good job, KFC - you've pushed Sandwich Science™ forward in at least one area today!

2) THIS IS NOT A SANDWICH. See White City Shopping Ctr., LP v. PR Rests., LLC, 21 Mass. L. Rep. 565 (Mass. Super. Ct. 2006).

3) The overweight guy sat in his car for seven minutes after he left KFC. I think that the walk tired him out.

Double Down Day

Friends –

As you no doubt know, today is one of the most important days in recent Sandwich Science™ history. Today, KFC comes out with their new Double Down Sandwich – two pieces of fried (or grilled!) chicken with bacon and cheese in the middle. That’s right – Americans can now get a sandwich with fried chicken in place of bread.

While not legally a sandwich (see White City Shopping Ctr., LP v. PR Rests., LLC, 21 Mass. L. Rep. 565 (Mass. Super. Ct. 2006)), you can understand my excitement. I’m going to eat one today at noon at my local KFC. There will then be a review. I suggest that you make your way to the nearest KFC and eat one post-haste.

Yours,
Beau

Hyperbole And A Half

This is one of my new favorite blogs; today she put up something about how sandwiches make you their bitch. Too, too true.

From Afar: Me So Hungry

817 West 5th St
Austin, TX 78703
+1 512 659 5744
www.mesohungry.biz
[Location may vary]

By Des Ayuno

Frank Light is a real foodie. I know because he told me, several times. “I’m a real foodie,” he would say. “It’s hard to hunt down good food here. There’s a lot of crap. But don’t worry – stick with me and you’ll be fine.”

Light’s assessment of Austin as a culinary dump may seem harsh, but we were in town for SxSW, an annual music-biz circle jerk in which 13,000 self-righteous hipsters and major-label relics from around the world descend upon 12 square blocks of the city in order to loudly proclaim that they alone hold the key to the rejuvenation of our deeply troubled industry, to get violently drunk on copious amounts of free beer and to puke in the street. Local restaurants, understandably, grit their collective teeth and focus on hustling as many customers through their doors as quickly as possible. It was only the first day of SxSW and I already felt as though a little part of my soul had shriveled up and died in the fierce Texan sun.

So when, around 10pm, Light suggested we duck out of a tedious showcase – our tedious showcase, unfortunately – in search of what he’d read was the city’s finest bánh mì, I was thrilled. I live in a part of London with a big Vietnamese community and the best pho in town, but for whatever reason, they don’t do bánh mì – I’d only really read about it on the CSB. I was ravenous. I was ready.

We headed across town in search of an elusive van called Me So Hungry. All of a sudden, it was cold. Freezing, in fact. Light was bundled up in an appropriately fleecy coat, and fleet of foot; he shoved through drunken revelers and left them spinning. I twisted my light scarf around my shoulders and scuttled after him. We soon left East 6th behind. The wind howled. We doubled back on ourselves at least twice. I gritted my teeth. Finally, in front of what looked like a giant, glass-fronted strip mall, there was a gleam of light and a small crowd of people. “That’s it!” Light roared.

Me So Hungry was painted a welcoming shade of bright green that reminded me of the walls in my local, Song Que. It looked sparkling clean and radiated warmth and nourishment. The two people who staffed it, probably brother and sister, were not Vietnamese, but the smooth-faced young man who took my order was friendly and quietly expert, running through options of pork or lemongrass tofu, spicy or not, and he would definitely recommend the coriander mayonnaise. Yes, please. $5, please. Thank you. Light and I took our seats at a busy group of picnic-style tables that actually belonged to an unappealing place behind us named the Tiniest Bar in Texas. In front of us, in the Tiniest Bar Garden, three anemic teenagers in hoodies managed to make fire-spinning seem like the dullest way one could possibly spend one’s evening.

The smooth-faced young man left his sister to do the cooking – once we had ordered, he sat down at an adjacent table and drained a beer. He kept a concerned eye on us, though, coming over twice in the next 25 minutes to apologize for the lack of bánh mì, and stuck his head into the van to hassle his sister. By this point, my teeth were chattering. Light nipped into the Tiniest Bar, ostensibly to get us both some tap water, and came back with a beer for himself, which he regarded fondly and then necked. I started to watch the street for passing taxis and, at one point, may have hallucinated that I was curled up in bed watching Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me on my laptop. It was not a promising situation for being served the finest sandwich of one’s life.

When it finally arrived, the bánh mì was simultaneously a triumph and a total letdown. Though piping hot for the first two bites, it cooled quickly in the vicious wind, and its initial boldness of flavor dimmed. Anything that combines barbecued meats, pickled vegetables and coriander is going to be a winner in my book, and the chargrilled marinated pork strips were juicy and generous. But I was confused – this was the standard version of the sandwich, the only option that didn’t involve tofu, so where was the sliced pink luncheon meat, the glutinous pâté, the mysterious and faintly putrefying unidentified meats? Under the top layer of magnificently perky pickled carrots – there may have been a radish or two in there too – lurked strips of what looked like green bell pepper. Some were, I soon realized, but some were chili. Chunks of fierce, burning chili. I nibbled at one, then pulled it out and discarded it, reasoning that I’d rather be able to taste the rest of the sandwich. The bottom half of the baguette was satisfyingly soft, with a crispy crust, having absorbed the juices of the meat, but the top half was chalky and cold. There was nowhere near enough coriander mayonnaise to make its voice heard in such a cacophony of extreme flavors. And I could have eaten two more, but that was probably because I’d eaten nothing but a small packet of Fig Newtons all day. I felt like Oliver Twist in the workhouse.

Light nodded to himself, having just scarfed the two enormous prawn summer rolls he’d also ordered ($6), and barked, “Back to work! Let’s walk off those calories.” It was at least a mile and a half back across town. Five years ago, Light, who runs a respected record label, would have sprung for a cab. Hell, five years ago he’d have phoned the Omni and had them send eight dwarves to carry us back across town on a sedia gestatoria. I sighed and stood up. “Do you know what?” he asked, striding purposefully down the street. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I think I have a pretty good idea how we can go about saving this business, you know.”

Ask Beau Cadiyo

Hi,

Really enjoy your blog, seems to be very informative. I'm really hoping you can help me with this one.

In 2003, I was in C-town with my brother & buddy for a vacation. We had a hard time looking for good places to eat until we encountered a great concierge at our hotel (The InterContinental on Euclid Ave.). He recommended a sports bar nearby that had some amazing panini sandwiches filled with french fries (Later on, I learned Primanti Bros. in Pittsburgh perfected this sammie years earlier). But for the life of me, I cannot recall the name of this place! I remember it was on the 2nd floor of a 2 story building and it was a sports bar atmosphere, as the TVs had all sorts of sports on.

It's a total shot in the dark and I know I'm not giving much in the way of details, but does this place seem familiar to you? I'm making my return in 2 weeks and I've been pimping it to my girlfriend. I'd love to head back, as the sandwich was pretty darn good and I much prefer trying local cuisine as opposed to fast food whilst on vacation.

Your help is this manner is much appreciated.

As always, I remain:

C.D.

Reply

C.D. -

There's a 99% chance that it's Panini's:

http://www.paninisgrill.com/l-gateway.html

They do fill their sandwiches with fries from their grill. Personally, I wouldn't list this as one of the best sandwiches I've ever had, or even the best in Cleveland, but I think this is it!

I'm in the middle of a review of R. Ribs. Their Polish Boy also has fries, AND an amazing sausage/sauce/bread combination similar to Freddie's (listed as the best Polish Boy in America by Esquire Magazine).

Let me know if I can be of any further assistance, and bon appetit in Cleveland!

Best,
Beau

Bac Asian American Bistro and Lounge

2661 West 14th Street
Cleveland, OH 44113
(216) 938-8960
www.bactremont.com

by Beau Cadiyo

Full disclosure: Bac is an ex-roommate of my girlfriend’s friend from high school (it’s ok to go back and read that again for clarity). I first met him just before he got out of the corporate world and signed the lease for his building; he’s energetic, funny, and has the sort of vibrant personality that naturally draws people to him. He’s also subject to uncontrollable, unexplainable laughing fits which inevitably includes two or three other people, while everyone else in the room is left to wonder what just happened. Second, he invited us to a “soft opening," which meant free food for us so long as we didn’t write about that particular visit. It’s thus hard to write objectively about Bac’s, although I’m going to try.

Ok. Here goes.

Bac’s Asian-American Bistro and Lounge is fricking amazing.

Most restaurant lure patrons in with relatively deep happy-hour discounts . They rely on volume – of both customers and items sold – to make up for the larger per-item profit they would have otherwise realized. Bac, on the other hand, offers only $2 off a few dishes and drinks – not enough to arrange your evening around, but any less and they likely wouldn’t be able to cover their already reasonable prices.

When we walked in on a Friday at 6:20 p.m., Frank Hoxha and I were the only two people in the restaurant, and thus the only two who could enjoy the happy-hour pricing. At 6:35 p.m., five minutes after happy hour had ended, patrons started streaming in just as we got our first round (papaya salad and a bahn mi). By the time we got around to ordering again (spring rolls and tom yum soup), the dining area was full and dates without reservations who had hoped for tables were being seated at the bar. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing – the entire restaurant is stunning, and the bar is a particular delight, well lit and, with the Cavs game playing, better located for cheering on Cleveland. The whole place feels like a tropical retreat, with verdant green on every wall. Televisions are visible in two corners, but are not the central focus of the bar.

And the food. The food! The Bahn Mi had pork, ham, Vietnamese sausage, pate, dill radish, carrot, cucumbers, cilantro and house mayonnaise generously layered on a baguette. I’ve been eating Superior Pho’s Bahn Mis recently, and they are delicious, especially when chicken is substituted for pork. Bac’s Bahn Mi, though, was superior to Superior. Multiple flavors came out at different points during each bite: first the sausage, then the other meats, vegetables, mayo and then cilantro for a strong finish. I finished The Billionaire’s Vinegar a few weeks ago, and it reminded me of Benjamin Wallace’s description of how a fine wine “opens” itself up to the drinker. This sandwich evolved in the same way. The papaya salad was sweet and tart, the tom yum soup had delicious shrimp and was spicy, sweet and thick, and the spring rolls were stupendous when dipped in the soup or in the peanut sauce that came with them. A biting ginger beer rounded off each bite perfectly.

I recently ate at Lucky’s, where a small portion of food can easily run to $15 without tip, leaving one’s pocket light and stomach unsatisfied. At Bac’s, two people can be well fed and alcoholed for $30, including tip. I admit that I may be biased, but tonight Edward Sandwichhands is coming into town, and we’re hitting a few places for some of Cleveland’s culinary delights. The first place we're going to stop: Bac’s.

Double Down

It's real.

Ten more days.