Thursday, June 28, 2007

Beachland Ballroom

15711 Waterloo Rd,
Cleveland, OH 44110
By Edward Sandwichhands

The Beachland Ballroom is an old Croatian social club. It smells like a Phish concert, but you know it isn’t because everyone is way too well dressed. My jeans are never tight enough, my shirt is never cool enough, and when I am there for a show I just don’t think I’ll ever be pretty again.

At the bar you have your choice of grilled cheese, a hamburger, and a deep friend peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Deep fried sandwiches are actually the reason my family decided to come to this country. Genetically, I can’t pass up an opportunity to have a complete stranger needlessly deep fry food for my consumption. The sandwich complimented my Pabst tall boy well, but would have been better suited as a dessert. It was very rich and similar to a fried donut. They used crunchy peanut butter, which added a unique texture to the deep-fried mass of oil and bread staring me in the thighs. Just kidding. I don’t care what my thighs look like – that’d be ridiculous.

After the sandwiches we saw “The National.” It was an amazing show. Unlike most other shows at the Beachland, we were able to get up to the stage. After the show I ran into an old neighbor named Vinny. Last I had heard Vinny had gone insane and had to move back in with his parents. I guess he pulled himself together enough to make the show. That’s why the Beachland is so great. We drown our sorrows in music, beer, and comfort food trying to pretend that we aren’t crazy as shit.

Beachland Ballroom & Tavern in Cleveland


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