1825 Coventry Rd
Cleveland, OH 44118
By Edward Sandwichhands
Loneliness is a dish best served on two pieces of bread – with a pickle. Panini’s on Coventry is possibly the worst place I’ve ever been. Every time I go there I die – and I am reborn in a puddle of vomit. This time it was different and it was personal. I was there to get sandwiches.
I just can’t go inside Panini’s on Coventry. I think of Panini’s patio as a safe-haven - the last vestige of hope in an otherwise Shitville-Ohio-Yuppie-Frat-Boy-Pull-the-Fucking-Trigger-Already-Bar. So we ate on the patio, despite the protests of a Carol Rubin and a mid-summer chill in the air.
My original plan was to get the cheapest sandwich on the menu because I’m poor as hell. I mean I have some money, but seriously – I’m poor as hell. I went with the patty melt. Rye bread, beef, onions, butter, and Swiss cheese. That’s how I do. The sandwich was great. I always eat the fries first. I thought they were fine. The other people I was with complained that they were cold and undercooked. What the fuck are fries anyhow? Filler. Needless Filler. That’s kind of what Panini’s is all about.
A patty melt is basically a hamburger on bread. If Panini’s had screwed it up I probably would have punched the bartender in the face. However, the sandwich was fine. About 4 hours later I picked a rye seed out of a molar in the upper-left part of my mouth. It reminded me of a satisfying dinner and a bar that makes me think it might be cool to start hanging out at home.