5728 Pearl Rd.
Parma, OH 44129
By Edward Sandwichhands
Cleveland is a smelly place – a smelly, smelly place. When I moved here I blamed the smell on the lake. But the stench isn’t localized, it follows you. It’s in your dresser when you go to put on your morning clothes – and it crawls into bed with you each night.
Every year Cleveland has this wonderful event called “Taste of Cleveland.” It costs five dollars to get in, the food is overpriced, and it’s located right by the smelly lake. About thirty local restaurants attend this event and serve some of the finest sandwiches this side of Akron.
I attended “Taste of Cleveland” with several close friends. My friends and I were filling our time with comfort food until Nathan arrived on the 9:30 pm Greyhound from Toledo. The Greyhound station is possibly one of the smelliest places in America, especially when the unique smell is compounded with Cleveland’s own. If I was going to make it through a night of horrifying smells and another morning of crippling loneliness, I would have to eat.
I knew that only a hearty sandwich of massive proportions could ease my worries and satiate my hunger. The Germans are a hearty people, who consume all of their traditional foods with mustard and sauerkraut. When the fine employees of ‘Das Schnitzel Haus’ asked me if I would like sauerkraut and mustard on my Schnitzel sandwich I could hardly refuse. Wiener schnitzel is the type of Schnitzel most commonly served in Austria. It consists of thin veal coated in bread crumbs and deep fried. Americans tend to think of Wiener schnitzel as being some type of extravagant hot dog, but really it’s very similar to veal parmesan – minus the parmesan. The schnitzel was delicious. Served on a thick roll and covered in whole grain mustard and sauerkraut - a simple, but filling sandwich. In one bite I felt happy, German, and a little smelly. Despite my predisposition toward taking pleasure in the little things, no sandwich could help me cope with the fact that I would soon be scouring a Greyhound station for my friend in hopes that he hadn’t been murdered or urinated on.