I apologize a trillion times for the absence. I promise that if it happens again, I will apologize a trillion times again. An epic review is in the works; I can't say what restaurant is being reviewed, but let me tell you, you'll know more about me and a certain past relationship than you did before reading this new piece de resistance, unless you're the girl I'm writing about, in which case you know how amazing and special I still think you are.
Second, I'm not sure what this means, but it could use some serious academic review.
Third, and last, you've no doubt been hearing about the Denny's cheese stick sandwich. I've been ruminating on this for quite some time and I think it's time to stop - stop both the ruminating, which is taking away from my productive time, and stop using extreme sandwiches as publicity stunts.
Sure, this has gone on for ages - it goes back at least as long as the Nathan's hot dog eating contests. But since the KFC Double Down, places are coming out with extreme sandwiches at an increasing and sickening rate, all for a cheap news bite and to get some attention, and the mainstream media is lining up, mouths open, ready to suck down whatever hot mess these places are shooting out of their sandwichmakers.
I, for one, am sick of it. It's time to stop exploiting sandwiches for cheap personal gain. Please join me by writing on the Denny's Facebook Wall and telling them that enough is enough - they need to leave those poor sandwiches alone and go back to making absurdly sweet key lime pie, amazing curly fries and bottomless cups of coffee.
Who's with me?